happy happy joy joy

yehey.. lalng i'm soo happy today. things are going well for me and i hope this will last. I know that we can still like patch things up.. it will improve eventually.. yeah.. haha he's medyo nagtatampo nga ata eh because he's asking for my blogsite but i don't want to let him see my entries.. siyempre.. so that i'd look enigmatic to him and bsta. he's like "sorry na you dont trust me.." but hello, i super trust you.. more than you ever know. hahaha.. but of course.. he has to guess pa and take risks. right? or am i right? haha labo..

i love the book i'm reading.. A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux. Kate vera cruz lent it to me because she knew i'm gonna like it. and she's right. hehehe

when i check my new friendster account, it makes me smile when i see how many people viewed my profile. lalng.. i don't know if it's a lot na but for me it is.. hehe.. as of this moment, it's been viewed for 889 times already. lalng.. just sharing..

oh yeah, i read kate hipolito's sister's blog entry about our dance pro. it felt good reading such entry that praises our work. hehe.. here's an excerpt..

they're still winners to me

Yeah I sound like a doting older sister AGAIN, but hey my sister's section is sooo good yesterday . And it's so unfair about the costume (and not just because Kate is the costume designer).But whatever. They still did a bleedin' GREAT job out there and their production was the shiznit and I don't really care if the judges (or some faculty members) are willing to overlook an excellent dance production for some crappy issues about fabrics etc.
Remember IV-2: People are only mean when they're threatened.

In your case, maybe some overly agitated person (let's just say person, we don't want people guessing HAHA) saw your terribly good moves during practices and it scared the daylights out of her skull because maybe, just MAYBE, her own minions weren't good enough. Tears. Let's go weep in agony now, shall we?God I don't really care about her. You're still winners in your own right, and you know you did good. And not that I'm biased or anything, but I think you're the only one who did justice to Pinikpikan. I mean can you imagine what Sammy Asuncion or Maria Bello would say if they saw those other dances using their song? NYAHA.

to watch our vid: go to www.kristellalala.blogspot.com

gggggrrrrrrrrrrr kasi talaga.. injustice.. what's more is hindi deserving un class na nanalo. i'm sorry to say this. i have really close friends from that section but hello.. they didnt deserve to win. but because of their devilish co-adviser, they managed to eeerr win. tsss... she's just envious of how great and amazing we were.. ok.. enough said.. oh yeah.. i soo love my class IV-2. yep sure we have our share of differences and all. but still, we love one another. and i just feel so lucky to be part of it.. let your light shine.. be a blessing.. huwaw..

i'm soooooo happy tlga right now. the sober feeling covers my frustrations. awww... thank you.. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....
sooo happy... mwah mwah mwah..

'till they take my heart away...

I dont want to write in paragraphs..

1. I was on the phone with Jappy kanina. haha nakakatuwa siya weh. saya kausap.
2. yesterday was our family day in school.. so i left the house around 6am. then fetched Eia. got to school at around 7am. we fixed ourselves and changed into our costumes. hair and make-up. saya nga nun eh. super. then practiced.
3. I saw a lot of people. hmmm.. Jappy and Carlo were late! Jap told me they'd be there by 10am but around 11am na sila dumating. haha they got lost daw kasi. haha traffic and wala parking. so when they arrived, i asked Jaire to go with me to gate3 to give them entrance tix. lalang astig nga eh kasi tagal ko na rin hindi nakikita si Jap nun. i though kasi hindi siya pupunta eh..the second to the last time I was with him ata nun Sept.3 pa, then yesterday na. kaya saya! lalng. kakagulat hair mo. Gabio was in STC too because he watched her sister's performance and of course, IV-2's. and cute, he made like a banner na hindi banner tapos nakalahay "go IV-2" something... awww.. ang sweet.. our friends supported us.. aaaawwww... sila Nicoh, Bombee, Ivan, Franz, Chino, Rhia's friends, andrew and jon, etc.
4. IV-2, unfortunately didn't win.. for the first time.. tsss... Duh, the judges minused like 15% from our grade because of our costume. my classmates and i mourned for a while. we practiced so ahrd. our body ached.. nagkapasa kami ang all. as in we gave our best. tssss... unfair because pinayagan naman kami na gamitin un costume eh.. tapos they minused 15%.. duh!!!! everyone.. well almost everyone gave us feedbacks that our dance was really good. there were a lot who thought IV-2's gonna win. even the teachers, even students from other sections, the crowd and many many more. Sr. Zaraspe said yesterday something like.. "di na ako manonood ngayon kasi mainit eh.. nakita ko na naman un dance nyo eh. but alam ko nanaman un magiging result eh. siyempre kayo champions." aaaaaaawwwwwww... sweet ni Sir.. but unfortunately, injustice prevailed. injustice talaga. sir zaraspe should defend us because he's studying law. lalng.. Ms. Gineta sat next to me while watching the others perform. i love her!
5. the crowd cheered for us and they loved our performance. that's what matters anyway. compared to the decision of a few.. while we were dancing, i really heard them cheering. but ddduuuuuuuhhhhhhhh... injustice pa rin
6. wow.. may nagpage daw sa akin sa mic sa stage yesterday after the dance pro. my cousins daw. hahaha then i found out sila jappy, gabio, carlo, nicoh at bombee pala un. nakakatawa
7. after.. we went to my lola's house. took a bath. ate.. then returned to stc. eh i was super depressed then.. i wasnt in the mood to enjoy the night for some reason i dont want to expound.. i was quiet all along except for the time when my friends and i rode the horror train. hahaha it was corny but nagenjoy kami. tawa kami ng tawa at sigaw ng sigaw. hahahahfun!!!!!!!!
8. Jaire was my partner last night. date kami. hahaha
9. Cute ni Boom and Tan. They borrowd my white fur bag, acted like they were models. hahaha
10. i left stc around 7pm. katamad eh.. i was not really in the mooooooddddd.. saaad.. but i'm ok na. super ok na
11. what else??? ehhhh.. natatamad na ako.. labo ng title ko. LSS eh..
12. i'm soooo happy today... aaaaaaaawwwwwww........ diba? you know why dba? aaawwww

missing you

Standing here looking out my window
My nights are long and my days are cold
'Cause I don't have you
How can I be so damn demanding?
I know you said that it's over now
But I can't let go

Every day I want to pick up the phone
And tell you that
You're everything I need and more
If only I could find you

Like a cold summer afternoon
Like the snow coming down in June
Like a wedding without a groom
I'm missing you
I'm the desert without the sand
I'm the one without a band
I'm a ring without a hand
I'm missing you

Driving 'round, thought I saw you pass me
My rearview mirror's playing tricks on me
'Cause you fade away
Maybe I'm just hallucinating
'Cause my loneliness got the best of me
And my heart's so weak

Every day I want to pick up the phone
And tell you that
You're everything I need and more
If only I could find you

Like a cold summer afternoon
Like the snow coming down in June
Like a wedding without a groom
I'm missing you
I'm the desert without the sand
I'm the one without a band
I'm a ring without a hand
I'm missing you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Said I'm, I'm missing you

Like a cold summer afternoon
Like the snow coming down in June
Like a wedding without a groom
I'm missing youI'm the desert without the sand
I'm the one without a band
I'm a ring without a hand
I'm missing you
(2x)

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

my legs hurt! super..

i.. am.. too.. exhausted.. to.. move.. my.. leg.. and.. my whole body.. it aches.. sobra..... even the joints. we have pasa sa knees because we have dance steps while kneeling. so, di na tayo pwede mag skirt for the mean time. hehe add to that the tragic things happening to me.. haaaaayyy.. tragic is an overstatement ah. hahaha.. kainis lang kasi eh.. those who you expect to come, hindi naman pala. the person who you really really as in reallllllyyyyy want to see and be with, after saying na oo, hindi naman pala.. paasa.. how.. frustrating... my legs hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need a massage. oh well.. not you BR ah, i understand you.. thanks for going out of your way to watch us practice kanina sa school.. thanks..

ayoko na magblog..........

you had your chance, but you blew it..

• It's been too long and I'm lost without you... What am I gonna do... Said I been needin' you... I'm wantin' you... Wonderin' if you're the same and who's been with you. Is you're heart still mine.. I want to cry sometimes.. I miss you
• I miss you so much and I don't know what to say... I should be over you.. I should know better.. But it's just not the case
• The only thing that's missing in my life, is you.. The only man I need in my life, is you, is you.. is you.. baby...
• It's time to be honest with myself.. i've fooled around too long. now all I think about is you and what we used to have
• I believe we shouldnt let the moment pass us by.. life's too short we shouldnt wait for the water to run dry.. think about it, cause we only have one shot at destiny. all im asking could it possibly be you and me?
• Cause my heart starts beating triple time.. With thoughts of lovin' you on my mind. I can't figure out just what to do .. When the cause and cure is you, you
• I get so weak in the knees, I can hardly speak, I lose all control (control) .. Then somethin' takes over me .. In a daze, your love's so amazing.. It's not a phase, I want you to stay with me.. By my side, I swallow my pride .. Your love is so sweet, it knocks me right off of my feet.. Can't explain why your lovin' makes me weak
• Sa kanya pa rin babalik sigaw, ng damdamin. Sa kanya pa rin sasaya, bulong ng puso ko. Kung buhay pa ang alaala ng ating nakaraan Ang pagmamahal at panahon alay pa rin sa kanya

snap!

1. I guess I'm nearing my monthly period again. It's quite obvious, i tend to be sooo snappy these days. I snapped at Kai Bote, Cheska and Rhia this morning. Snapped at Nia yesterday. tsk tsk tsk.. sorry guys.. It's due to the active hormones.
2. I do not usually say bad words. Only when I'm really mad but this morning, super snappy ko kasi eh. Sorry Kai and Cheska.
3. Lunch period. I was telling Rhia something that frustrates me. I expected her to say something nice, but no! considering that she knew that i wasn't in the mood ah. nang asar pa lalo. kulit!!! so when we went upstairs, i didn't speak. i was nearly naiiyak na tuloy. nang-aasar pa si rhia.. "Carlyn ang cute mo para kang bata. Iyakin!!! hahahahaha".......... duh Rhia!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. To make things worse, The Pest called again. As if my day didn't suck enough yet. tsss...
5. I'm so freakin' tired because of the practice and because of this snappy day. I ate a lot during dinner. had two servings of rice. so apparently, I'm gaining weight again... I suddenly hope it's summer again, review at Experts. I find it easy to eat less then kasi eh. siyempre. right Rhia?
6. LSS ako sa song ni Craig David... "I just don't love you no more.. Rain outside my window pouring down.. nananana... my fault, I'm sorry. feeling like a fool 'coz i let you down.. nananananana...."
7. you had your chance, but you blew it.
8. Ms. Aguilar gave us a sermon, wake up call i should say. she gave us feedbacks from other teachers. well, depressingly, our class' behavior worsened. Our grades deteriorated. Our class is so hard to handle and control. We're so noisy and blah blah blah... Can it get any worse? nah..
9. your insensitivity's breaking my heart. isa na lang talaga. or else, hindi na tayo bati, unless of course, you have a valid explanation. but tsss.. you don't explain, you're soo good at your disappearing act. you can be a magician. tsss..
10. oh yeah!!! Simple Life's already starting! and by 8pm, ONE TREE HILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wanna love you more than anything.... getting emo again ah.. wah!
11. oh please... make me laugh...
12. I know how to HTML in school. i just don't know how to apply it here in my blog. how to place a tagboard ba?

It's YOU

find someone who calls you beautiful instead of hot (but of course, ok din yun hot)
who calls you back when you hang up on him
who'll stay awake just to watch you sleep
wait for the guy who kisses your forehead
who wants to show you off to the world when you're in sweats
who holds your hand in front of his friends
wait for the one who's constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you
who turns to his friends and says, "that's her".

i have a long list of stuffs like this in my diary.. haaaaayyyyy....

I sooo hate this day

i hate this day. i left my cellphone at home. so while i was in school, i was thinking maybe i received a lot of messages na. but when i got home, i checked it, no new messages!!! hmph!!! bad bad bad! not only that, i was really pissed off this morning for some reason i dont want to expound. didnt want to talk to anyone except to Jaire. Nia got irritated with me. tsss.. i couldn't care less, actually. that's me when i'm not in the mood.. i dont talk. i'm a very transparent person eh. not plastic. but i can be plastic too.. but most of the time, I show them the real me. blah blah blah

the class practiced again this afternoon. it was fun despite the uncooperative sun. i'll surely miss these days when we really bond as a class. I love IV-2. mwah mwah!

blogging ruins my "diary-ing". i should focus on my Bratz diary. waha childish.. bratz. but cute eh. i want a Barbie diary but i couldn't find a pretty one.

ang insensitive niya! bahala siya.. hmph!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he/she might regret it later. haha just kidding

tell me what i have to do to please you, baby anything you say i'll do.. NOT!!!

i just got home from greenbelt/glorietta. soooo... i woke up today lunch time. went to tierra pura, then fetched PJ's classmates. then after, we went to greenbelt to watch a play with my sister, cousins, etc... the play's for kids actually, emperor's new clothes.. haha but wla lng. and then after, we strolled in greenbelt and glorietta. i was with my sis, ate tin, kuya greggy, erose, PJ, haffhy and jogar (joguar hehe). BR and Carlo certeza were there also. but unfortunately, BR and Carlo couldn't go with us kasi baka isumbong ako eh or something. but pinuntahan nila ako ulit before we left. hahaha so basically, my day's been good.. carlo was sooo funny and kulit. ingay! i met him for the first time but i can say ok siya kasi nakakatawa!!! dba BR? they're both makulit.

i love sunday nights!!! i listen palage to wave 89.1 because the songs are sentimental every sunday nights. sobra.

haven't done any school works yet. and it's already like 9:30.. yehey!!! i have candies from candy corner! beh!

i want to hate someone right now. and hate him/her forever....

Shit! i NEED new clothes!!! have to go shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! immediately! hahaah

well last friday, we had Palihan in school wherein we were assigned to different communities to see what it's like to be uhm.. less fortunate.. i was assigned to Tahanang Walang Hagdan, and by the name itself, it means that the people there are handicapped. we got there at around 9:30 na because it's far from school and we got lost on our way. i dont want to tell the details anymore but basically, we just mingled with them. i was with michelle, jen, trisha, mana and len most of the time when we were there. we spent half of the day in the place and then we went back to school for our supervised dance pro practice. and again, under the scorching heat of the friggin' sun. good thing i had my sunblock, cap and towel with me to at least alleviate the heat. then we went to atok to for our underground class prac. went home by 6 with jaire and jo to slumber at my house. we planned on bringing home alcoholic drinks and get drunk but we werent able to execute our plans. we had dinner, then took a bath. went to gweilo's, makati again for my cousin's band's gig. kuya gave me a mug of beer!!! hehehe. by 10 something, jaire, jo and i wento to greenbelt. bought drinks from starbucks, then watched a movie. Deuce Bigalow. haha funny!!! man whore. he-bitch. green stuffs. nakakatawa. haha. then we went home na mga past 1am. we slept at around 3am.

today, i woke up 11:25am. jaire and jo were awake na 10 am pa lng so they waited for me pa. we movie marathoned. hide and seek (waaahh!! katakot), longest yard, and white chicks for the nth time. love that movie.

i thought about something, 3 out of the 4 movies we watched manifested racism against the blacks. sama naman.

i have a new crush.

i'm sssooooo pissed off. he's kakainis. hello? how could you let this opportunity of being with me pass?

supposed to go to eastwood tonight for the 350-meter buffet thing. apparently, di natuloy. tsss...

watched the O.C. kanina. seth cohen (Adam Brody), can you get any hotter pa?

i was reading jaire's inbox. the quotes were so annoying. some of it hit me. hard....

when you're in love, it's as if everything is right. you deny the possibility of error. so when you fall inlove, don't fall too hard. it's not the falling down that hurts. but the sudden stop...

no guy is woth a girl's tears. the only one who's worth her tears is the one who knows he could, but would never ever make her cry.

mahirap makalimot sa taong mahal mo lalo na pag mahal mo talaga siya. pero diba mas mahirap makalimot pag naplano mo na buhay mo kasama siya?

sometimes, you tend to play with love bacause you think they're just playin' with you. but try to figure out, maybe you're playing with the right person... and crying for the wrong one. SHIT!!!

another ordinary day..

after classes, eia and i bought food in KFC. next to our table, there were two cute kids. boys sila, and their mom was there too. siguro the two kids were about 5&8 years old ata. chinito. cute! i told eia, siguro magiging heart throb un in the future. she agreed. haha.. crush namin ni eia un kid!! weh! pedophile! haha joke

I'm starting to reallllllyyy hate our Fil teacher. she's mean and rude at times. plus, she doesn't give me high grades. what's more is, she insulted me in front of the whole class. insecure bitch! i'll never forget what she told me. i mean, i'm like this, you can't do anything about it. learn how to deal with it!

we practiced for our dance pro in school today. fun but tiring. we practiced under the sun! my god, it's so unhealthy for our skin but we had to endure it. no other choice, yun ang venue namin eh. Jo was annoying kanina because gusto niya kami magwarm up. eh some of us didnt want to follow. so she punished us. PUSH-UPS!!! Duh, i can't do push-ups. my arms are weak and hello??? under that burning heat of the sun? but its ok, i love jo. tyranny nga lang.

by the way, i watched ONE TREE HILL last night!! it was their formal night (prom), so of course, they wore formal clothes. HOT! nathan and lucas were wearing tux. and nathan's sooooo sweet to haley!!! i want someone like him as my husband. hehehe... rhia and i want someone like chad michael murray as our BF..

oohhh... Eia daneia and i had our usual talks on our way home. we always talk about something interesting naman eh. kanina, we enumerated guy names that sound gwapo. hahaha. first name on our list is miguel. la lng. i love eia. we share a looot of similarities and all. we crush on almost the same guys.

ahahahahahhhaahahahah!!!!! i remembered something!!! Rhia and Kate delivered their sagutang diyalogo thing in fil class this morning. Rhia portrayed the role of a farmer ata or guwardiya sibil, can't tell eh. anyway, ang funny.. ang labo ng actions tapos she sounded like it was too hard for her to talk. parang nawawalan na ng boses eh hindi naman malakas un voice. labo.

----------------------------------------

"When you say you love me for a moment, there's no one else alive."-from jaire

i can't help it, i'm bored

I’m gonna make my entries as vague as possible from now on..
I’ll write the details na lang on my real diary, which is so not open to the public eye

Tentative plans:

Friday
dance pro practice after school
My friends and I might go to claret fair because someone invited us. I don’t want to go nga eh but I want to accomplish my mission for Jaire. Right Jaire? Haha
My classmates might sleep here at my house

Saturday
Eastwoood with friends
Longest buffet thing.. parang ayoko but Nia would get mad if I change plans
Concert in ateneo sbi ni BR

None of these are sure yet though..
I promised myself early this morning that I’m gonna read The Inferno but I lost track of time.
I love sentimental, maudlin songs
I’m feeling uncomfortable right now for unknown reasons…
I texted my groupmates this morning.. like before 7am, to tell them that I’m not going to school but they didn’t reply. Hate it when they don’t reply. Because they’re supposed to reply.

My test results:
English: 121/140.. high enough. I got the highest score in class, so it’s ok.
Physics: 68/*** waaahh!! So embarrassing!!! But my grade’s safe naman daw. But then, I don’t want a mediocre grade. I want a high grade. On the other hand, maybe I should be contented because I didn’t review that much naman.
Filipino: 112/150.. haha wow 38 mistakes. That’s why my grade in the card’s mediocre too
Economics/Social Studies: not given yet
Trigo: not given yet. I assume I flunk this test. Hate the subject. Or should I say, the teacher’s the problem. Ms. Baranda is a very patient and nice teacher but she’s not fit for teaching, in my opinion. But then, who am I to judge?
Religion: not given yet

----------------------------
Duh! “The pest” called for the nth time. I sooooo hate him! Well, everybody does. He’s so annoying and exasperating. I can’t stand him. He’s ruining my and my friends’ life.

---------------------------
Mygawd, I’ve been sitting in front of this computer for like 5 hours already. What a bum.

---------------------------
I’m getting fatter again. Don’t you just hate it? I have to exercise. But I hate exercising. It makes me sweat. But that’s the point, you have to sweat. Eh ayoko nga eh!!!

---------------------------
I’ve fallen for you. My heart gave in and I’m falling inlove…-I’m listening to this song right now.

---------------------------
I want to learn how to play the guitar!!! Or any instrument.
I want to take up dance lessons.
I want to learn French or Italian language.
I want to go to EK
I want to go to Hong Kong Disneyland
I want mocha frappuccino right now!!!
I want to make things ok again between us.
--------------------------
I assume Rhia misses me already. Haha I’ll call her later for some kwentos

on a lazy tuesday afternoon..

I didn't go to school today because I woke up late. Fuck, honestly I hate it when i absent myself without a justifiable reason. It makes me feel irresponsible and crappy. Plus, I had to be there for some group works. I'm not the type who would just depend on groupmates to do all the work but still, i get credits. that's not fair. and that's not my thing. that's the thing of the wasted people. haaha

Why does it seem that despite the fact that you're far from my "ideal" guy, you still got me captivated? yes, captivated...
You give me so little yet it seems to be enough?
You're so inconsistent but i don't give a f*ck?
I've heard enough reasons to drift my attention to someone else. someone who i know is 'better' than you. But then, in the end, it's still you I long for?
You say things that are really stupid and crappy, but all of that still matters.
When you stare at me even for just e few seconds, i want it to last forever
When i feel even the slightest touch of yours, it banishes my worries away.
How could you get me think about you until i fall asleep?
The little look you give, the little smile you plaster on your face, the little affection you show me, are all so little but seems to be sufficient?
Why do i find it funny when you say things that aren't even funny?
Why couldn't I take my smile off my face when you're around?
Why do you keep on lingering through my mind?
Is it just me? or you're that charming?
You made me vulnerable, you freak! hehe

SHIT! I hate it when I'm like this. I'm not ussually like this, or so i thought.


you're the laughter in my silence
****
'cause I... I know i can never be enough to replace your whatever
****
everything is still and silent without your love
****
and everytime i see you passing by, i just sit here waiting for you and i will talk to myself on a lazy sunday afternoon..
****

Rhia told me: "masyado ka maganda para sa kanya.. bagay sa'yo mas gwapo. kaw *toot* ka nalng"
-------
BR's so O.A. but funny. haha! yesterday, magka-text kami..
Carlyn: guess who just called me on my cellphone!
BR: if c *secret* un at touch ka, i'd kill myself!
-------
Sometimes, a man can't see when he has someone so special sitting right in front of him. That's how foolosh SOME men can be. I'm not referring to all ah. Just a few.
-------
HOT!
-------
I'm listening to Spongecola kanina pa. I like most of their songs. ang gwapo pa ng voice ni Yael! soo manly.. dba Xab?
------
tomorrow we're going to practice for our dance production. 2 periods in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon.
------
maiiwasan bang bawat sandali ika'y laman ng puso ko

grrrr!!!!

i forgot to watch the O.C.!!! wanted to see SETH (adam brody) pa naman...

shit! tagal matapos ng song na dndownload ko. kakainis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
uh-oh.. hormones strike again.. few minutes ago i was in a good mood. but now i'm exasperated again. thanks to the super tagal song that i'm downloading right now. eeeeerrrrrrrr... ayoko na.. disconnect nako.. not!

don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?--- love this song

random thoughts.. plus not-so-random thoughts..

• i read something from mars' blog. something like, is it possible to like two guys at the same time?
• i have to introspect
• if i'm not inlove with you, what is this i'm going through?
• small world, i just realized. maybe it's true that it really is possible to cross paths again with someone who you thought you'll never see again. like the movie serendipity. because it's like everyone's connected to one another pala, without your knowledge. tapos one time, you'll get surprised nalng because you found out he or she's the blah blah blah pala of ____. dba? galing naman.
• Pat and i delivered our sagutang diyalogo in Filipino class this morning. Ms. Dacutan, our fil teacher, went beyond her usual..rudeness? tactless _____. i soo hate her kanina, but it's ok with me na. whatever. hmmm... just hope she doesn't see this.
• what about us? what about feeling? what about all the things that make life worth living? what about faith? what about trust? tell me baby what about us?
• Rhia says i'm going crazy. hindi kaya. im just confused.
• why is it like this? even i can't decipher what i want to happen. or what i'm feeling.
• i'm currently in a perplexing phase.
• what will i do? you got me hooked?
• you're a temptation i want to indulge in.. shheeessshhh... say what?
• 'cause the lovin' ain't the same and you keep on playing games like you know i'm here to stay.. just shake it off..
• i want to go out
• i want to have a band. but the things is, i can't sing, and i don't know how to play any kind of instrument. i think i should learn at least one. my dad bought me a guitar last summer but it's still unused. weird noh, just a thought.

i find it uber frustrating when you want something so badly but everyone knows, even science and god knows that you can't and will never have it.

i want an older brother. but duh, im the eldest and i only have one sister. there's no way i can ever have a real kuya. waahh.. sounds mababaw and pathetic ba? but yesh, i seriously wish i have a legitimate older brother. but i'm satisfied na naman with having 2 kuya cousins. hahaha.. you, whoever's reading this, might ask why. uhm.. lot of reasons i'd rather keep to myself. (eia knows all the reasons why i want one. actually she wants one too. hahaha)

sheesh.. nia was absent in school today, god knows why. i assume she was just tinatamad. nia tamad. joke lng.

"before i let you go, i want to say i love you.... i hope that you're listening coz it's true.. baby.. you'll be forever in my heart. and i know that no one else will do.."--- i'm just singing. i do not.. i repeat do not love anyone. except my family and friends malamang.

people don't want him for me. some says i'm too good for him. some says i deserve someone better, physically and pati the personality and attitude. some says i'll get hurt lang sa kanya. but of course in the end, the decisions' still mine. havta find a way to not like him. hahaha! jologs

crap! i'm revealing too much na ata of what i'm feeling. but f*ck what do you care? whoever you are..

to those who're so insecure: just..get lost!

weekend.. after 2 consecutive hell weeks

Friday-Oct 14
it was the feast day of our patron saint so we didn't have classes. thank god! after 2 strenuous weeks of pressure, sleepless nights due to loads of requirements, long quizzes etc. it was sooo stressful. moving on, i was invited to ateneo open party but as usual, i wasn't allowed to go. good thing my cousin invited me to watch kuya greggy's band-Underscore. so that night, my parents and i went to glorietta for like 30 mins lang and then they dropped me off to Gweilo's bar for my cousin's gig. they were great, really. and i like the songs that they sang. what else? ate Tin and i were boy watching. hahaha!!! i spotted one hot guy(well not just one) but unfortunately, he has a gf.duh! moving on.. after Underscore's gig, that was like 12mn already, ate and i left the bar and went for stroll in greenbelt. walk..walk..walk.. we were planning the things we're going to do after my parents left for US. hehe gimmicks. when we were about to leave greenbelt, we saw raymond gutierrez and georgina wilson. pretty!

Saturday-Oct 15
i stayed home the whole afternoon. but during the night, i was in galleria. waaah!! sale but i'm broke. so i didnt get to buy all the things i wanted. i was with Jocas last night. we played billiards. he taught me how. he was a show off. haha just kidding, but he's good ah. we were supposed to watch a movie eh but not enough time. ayoko nga magbilliards eh but it was ok. everytime magkapoints ako, sinasabi ni jocas chamba lang daw. feeling. haha. then we strolled lang, went in a few clothes shop, then starbucks. went in people are people and we saw vicky with her mom. they were shopping for clothes. ohh my cousin was there also, kuya greggy, with two of his friends. i found out he and jocas had a not-so-good past pala. they had a 'problem' sa girl. hahaha oh welll. jocas asked me if i want to go to the variety show in ateneo. as much as i wanted to, di pwede. waaahhh... so un, it was past 9pm na. we waited for my sundo, then i went home. jocas went to ateneo pa.


today, sunday.. i'm at home, but we'll go out later this afternoon. oh, have to call rhia in like 5 minutes. i promised eh. hahaha but i have to finish this entry muna..

trying to call up rhia, but the line's busy. wonder who she's talking to. argh i need to make kwento eh!!!

BR's heartbroken again. for the 6th time. shit i wana help him but how can i? dba?

i'm gonna post a really nice poem nalng..

TONIGHT I CAN WRITE by Pablo Neruda

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is starryand the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.'
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing.
In the distance.My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

i wanna love you more than anything..

read and get enlightened..

Sonnet 116 by William Shakespeare
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments; love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no, it is an everfixèd mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his heighth be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Sonnets 14 by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say
'I love her for her smile—her look—her way
Of speaking gently,for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day'—
For these things in themselves, Belovèd, may
Be changed, or change for thee,—and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,—
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity


Sonnets 43
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
ost quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.